sweetest tongue, sharpest teeth
by oceanofoswald
Summary: Klaroline & Mabekah & Kennett: Caroline moves to Transylvania where she meets her new best friends Rebekah and Kol, who are zombies, and their brother Klaus, a werewolf who confuses her with feelings she didn't know she could have (mostly extreme annoyance, but what love story is perfect?). AU.
1. the not-so-secret secret of Stoker High

**a/n -** LOL. What even is this? I watched an episode of 'Summer in Transylvania' and this sprouted. No idea where it's going to go though.

* * *

**One: _the not-so-secret secret of Stoker High_**

* * *

She wonders if it's a phase. Everybody has phases. She's had dozens; there was neurotic!Caroline, mean girl!Caroline, straight A!Caroline, straight detention!Caroline, nobody understands me!Caroline, I'm going to marry Edward Cullen and have kinky vampire sex everyday!Caroline and multiple other Carolines. So, maybe gay!Bill is a phase too. Maybe she won't have to move to Transylvania and befriend creepy Emo people. Maybe her parents won't split up and she can continue secretly sipping cranberry juice in her mom's fancy ass wine glasses- because what's so damn special about wine that it needs it's own freaking collection of glasses and you break one (like, it was only _chipped_...sort of) and you're suddenly the spawn of satan, which is ironic because y'know she's her mother and all. Maybe she can finish the year with her very best friends and familiar classes and teachers and home. Maybe that's not her dad sticking his tongue down her Algebra teacher's throat- oh, um, maybe not.

**0.0**

It's yellow. Her new house is yellow. _Yellow_. It's a dark neighbourhood with undoubtably rapists and serial killers and whatnot and her house is lit up like a Christmas tree. She just knows this is the start of something terrible. There might as well be a giant glowing arrow above her house (which would have 'I'm with stupid' written over it). She cannot even because _it's freaking yellow_.

**0.0**

She cries herself to sleep.

**0.0**

A scream echoes through the house. Bill rushes towards the kitchen ("What is it? What's wrong? Will we need to go into witness protection? What's happened?") and finds his daughter staring open-mouthed at his new boyfriend. He laughs awkwardly.

"Caroline, this is Steven. Steven, Caroline."

"Hello." Air bubbles float through the tank. Caroline gapes.

"Dad!" She squeaks. "When you said Steven was brainy..."

"Yeah, um." Bill scratches the back of his head.

"This is..." Caroline shakes her head.

"Look, Carebear. It's really not that bad. He's just a little different, is all."

"Dad." She stares at him, still in disbelief. "He's a brain in a box."

"I know." Bill nods.

"But, _dad_. He's a literal brain in a literal box."

"Well technically it's a tank." Steven's robotic voice echoes through the kitchen.

"He's a talking literal brain in a literal tank." Caroline sighs. "This is not okay."

Bill laughs nervously. "Yeah, there's something I've been meaning to tell you about your school."

**0.0**

Caroline walks into Stoker High with her head held high. She glances around at the zombies, witches, vampires and werewolves. Also literal, apparently. If she was worried about everything before it was nothing compared to the actual truth of the neighbours wanting to _eat_ her. Sometimes she hates her life.

**0.0**

People - could she even call them that? - stare at her. She gulps and scurries down the hall with her folder and English book in her hands. Where the hell is she supposed to go for lunch? Or to not be lunch? Caroline glances over her shoulder and slams into something hard. The something hard screeches. She looks up to find a girl with her wavy brown hair covered in red liquid.

"Opps." She laughs nervously. The girl growls- _growls_.

"You little-" Before the girl can grab her, a blonde steps in the way.

"Hello Elena!" She says overly brightly. "Love the new 'do." The brunette hisses and glares at Caroline before disappearing (like, literally _poofs_).

"I'm Rebekah and that's my brother Kol." She nods to the guy behind Caroline. "You must be lunch." Caroline gulps and shrinks back towards the lockers.

**0.0**

They let Caroline sit at their table. She glances around at the odd looking beings while nibbling on her chicken sandwich. Rebekah and Kol are zombies. It shows. Kol sports the all out black look but his sister wears illuminated everything. She's a big flashing sign- she'd look nice as a gnome in Caroline's garden, she'd fit in anyway.

"Don't let Elena bother you. She's a bitchy vampire. Thinks she rules the school." Rebekah tells her.

"Are you kidding? She thinks she rules the world." Kol snorts, glaring at the table with the brunette from earlier and two other men that seemed to be fawning over her. Caroline notices how particularly attractive they are. Rebekah smiles.

"They're the Salvatores. Really easy if you're interested. I've had both of them."

"Had?" Caroline's eyebrows go from furrowed to stretched. "Oh."

"Just don't tell Elena." Rebekah winks. Kol chortles.

Caroline hears the distinct sound of someone sniffing. She turns her head to the right and jumps when she sees the guy that's suddenly sitting there.

"Nik! Stop being creepy!" Rebekah scolds.

"She smells nice." He turns back to Caroline. "You smell nice."

"Um, sandwich?" She offers him the other half of her chicken sandwich meekly. He shoots his dimples at her and accepts it.

Rebekah sighs. "Caroline, this is my brother Nik. He likes you to call him Klaus."

"She can call me whatever she wants." He shrugs, munching gleefully on the meaty sandwich.

"But he doesn't- ah," Caroline bites her lip. "Look like you."

"I'm glad you noticed how pretty of a werewolf I am." Klaus turns to his sister. "I like her. Can I keep her?"

"Sorry, Nik." Kol slurps whatever green liquid is in his flask. "'Bekah called dibs."

"As a friend!" Rebekah laughs nervously. "I called dibs on you as a _friend_."

Caroline decides to ignore the previous. "How come you and Kol are zombies but Klaus is a werewolf?" She shakes her head. "I cannot believe I just said that."

"Our mother's a tramp."

"KOL!"

"Well, her vagina is. The other parts of her are too old to even reach the cookie jar without spazzing and freezing mid-grab."

Rebekah sighs. One friend, that was all she wanted.

**0.0**

A week passes but Caroline adjusts. She becomes closer with Rebekah and learns to tolerate Kol's sense of humour and Klaus' lurking and watching of her. She even befriends the only other human in school; Matt Donovan. Rebekah still gets flustered whenever he's around but he's been a great friend to her. Helping her deal with everything.

"So you've officially survived until Friday." Rebekah grins teasingly. "Ready to party hard and dead with us this weekend at The Stakeout?"

("The only bar worth being at." Kol had told her.)

"I think I'll pass. It's kind of hard with everyone wanting to eat me." Caroline's eyes drift to the werewolf watching her by the water dispenser.

"Who? Nik?" Rebekah laughs. "Nik doesn't want to eat you, silly. He wants to mate with you."

Caroline drops her textbook.

**0.0**

She invites Rebekah to her house. The luminous zombie laughs at her theory on the yellow. Of course she likes it - "But it matches your hair, Carebear." - that is so very _Rebekah_ of her.

"Is that a thing you people do here?" Caroline lowers her voice. "Mate?"

"As opposed to going extinct?" Rebekah raises an eyebrow.

"No. As opposed to, y'know, like, dating." She shakes her head and shrugs her shoulders.

"What's the point? They both have the same outcome."

"But isn't it- ugh, I don't know." Caroline groans and falls back on her bed.

"Well you better know soon because Nik's already chosen you." Rebekah crunches on a crisp.

"Chosen me?" She questions and Rebekah nods. "Well can't he, like, _un_-chose me?"

Rebekah laughs. Then stops, realising she's serious. "He's a werewolf, Caroline. They mate once and it's for life."

"Brilliant." Caroline mumbles.

"So, you're coming with us to The Stakeout, right?"

"Only if you get Klaus off my back."

"But-" Caroline shoots her a challenging look. "Fine. I'll _try_, but know this, werewolves love sudden, fast and hard. My brother is most certainly no exception."

**0.0**

"And what would a woman have to look like to be the most attractive to you?" Rebekah reads the question from LoveBitesBack_dotcom_. She holds the laptop to her chest and looks to her brother for an answer.

Klaus blinks, "Caroline."

"You can't answer that for everything!" His sister groans. "You need to answer these seriously so we can find someone who will love you!"

Klaus nods with a smile, "Caroline."

"She means willingly, Nik." Klaus' mouth forms an 'O' shape, Kol turns to his sister. "Enough with the online dating, Beks. He's hopeless just like us and our inevitable inbreeding."

"Ew, Kol." Rebekah wrinkles her nose. "You need to stop listening to mother's crazy talk, you know her new brain is from the 1500's."

**0.0**

"Hey guys!" Caroline greets them as she slips into the booth beside Kol. Rebekah and Klaus sit directly across from them.

"Caroline, finally. Thank goodness you're here!" Rebekah shoves a book at her.

"Um." Caroline awkwardly fixes the book so she can read it and raises her eyebrow at the catalog of clothing- opened on the sparkly, colourful outfits_ of course_.

"For the Halloween Fright Fest." Rebekah giggles. "It's a dance."

"It's stupid, is what it is." Kol mutters, slurping his weird green liquid.

"Kol got rejected." Rebekah smirks. Kol sticks his tongue out at her.

"The little witch is just playing hard to get." He reassures himself.

"Well, she obviously won't go with you if you're calling her things like that." Caroline snorts and orders tea from the passing waiter. If they serve whatever the hell Kol is drinking they're bound to serve tea.

"Literal witch, sweetheart." Klaus smiles and looks at her like she's the most adorable thing in the world. Caroline glares at Rebekah who shrugs and mouths 'I said _try_'.

"So which one?" Rebekah changes the subject, pointing to the catalog.

"Uh." Caroline blinks. Klaus places a hand at the side of his mouth that faces Rebekah and mouths 'green' to her. "The green one?" The waiter arrives with her tea, smirking down at her as their fingers brush when she pays him.

Rebekah grins. "See brothers. Somebody has fashion sense." She hops out of the booth. "I'm going to go order it!"

"I'm going to go make sure she doesn't use my credit card again." Kol trots after her, flask in hand.

They leave Caroline stirring her tea and Klaus watching her.

"Do you love me yet?"

She takes the spoon out of her cup and sucks the tea off it. "No."

They sit in silence, Caroline sipping her tea and Klaus watching her.

"Can I keep that spoon?"

**0.0**

On Sunday Rebekah calls and asks if she'll go to the mall. She says no.

"Caroline!" Rebekah groans. "Don't leave me alone with my brothers!"

"No. I'm not pushing my luck. I'm lucky to be alive after you ditched me at The Stakeout."

"I didn't _ditch_ you." Rebekah rolls her eyes. "You had Nik."

"Yeah, don't tell him but I'm kind of extremely grateful he offered to walk me home." They had talked and Caroline would never admit it but it wasn't even the slightest bit awkward. They just fell into comfortable conversation.

"Why shouldn't I tell him? He'd be delighted." Rebekah asks, puzzled.

"Exactly!"

There is a pause. "Humans are weird."

"Yeah, _we're_ the freaky race." Caroline snorts.

"But doesn't that mean you've accepted him? When you let him walk you home?"

"No! I only let him walk me home because he beat up that sleazy waiter that kept looking down my blouse." Caroline pauses. "Should I visit him at the hospital?" She shakes her head. "No, that'd be weird."

"Caroline." Rebekah sighs.

"What?"

"Are you only pretending to not want to mate with my brother?"

"Ew, no. Why would I do that?"

"I don't know, I don't understand humans." Rebekah grumbles. "It's just, you're giving out all the wrong signals."

"No. I just rewarded him for doing something chivalrous." Caroline shrugs.

Rebekah pauses. "Was the waiter a werewolf?"

"Yeah." Caroline tilted her head. "He had the teeth. It was freaky."

"Nik didn't just do it out of the kindness of his heart, Caroline." Rebekah chuckles. "He was showing his ownership of you."

"...SERIOUSLY?!"

**0.0**

Rebekah orders Caroline to twirl. She examines the pink dress with a frown. She taps her pointer finger against her chin. "Try the blue again."

"For Frankenstein's sake, Beks." Kol shakes his head, ever the humorist. "Just pick one already!"

"Beauty takes time, Kol." Rebekah chides. "And Caroline needs to be perfect."

"Why? Who is she trying to impress?" Kol wiggles his eyebrows. Rebekah smirks. Klaus frowns. Caroline raises her eyebrows and looks between them.

"Well, well, well." A black haired guy is suddenly sitting beside Kol, who grits his teeth in annoyance. "Look what the circus spat out. Nice dress, Blondie." He sniggers and Caroline frowns. Sure it's kind of flashy but isn't that what this dance is about?

"Watch your words, Salvatore." Klaus growls.

"Make me, Mikaelson." He smirks.

"Careful Damon. You don't want to make the puppy angry." Elena pops up beside Caroline. God she hates vampires. Klaus glares at Elena, his fists tight by his side. "Somebody might get a boo boo."

"What do you want, leeches?" Kol glares at Damon.

"Oh, nothing." Elena laches on to Caroline's dress and rips the top layer off. Caroline gapes at her and she smiles. "Thought I'd do it a favour." She then disappears.

"Nice underwear, Barbie." Damon smirks before vanishing.

"I hate them." Rebekah mutters.

"I'm sorry." Caroline sighs before disappearing into the changing room.

"It's not your fault, Caroline. You didn't mean to be so clumsy and ruin your social life." Klaus slaps Kol on the back of the head.

"What he means is, they're bullies and they're just looking for an easy target. You just have to ignore them and they'll eventually get bored." Rebekah nods. "Or push them in the swamp."

"Now who's been listening to mother's crazy talk?" Kol sips out of his flask.

Caroline comes out of the dressing room in her normal clothes. She brings the blue and pink dresses to the counter. She's going to have to pay for the damaged one and she needs something to wear to the dance.

"Do you want me to kill her?" Klaus appears beside her.

"No, that's okay." She laughs softly. "Thanks Klaus." He nods. She pays for the dresses and links her arm through his, walking after Rebekah and Kol who are arguing about the correct way to eat a slug. Caroline lets her head fall on Klaus' shoulder and sighs wistfully as she watches Rebekah tear Kol's arm off and slap him on the head with it. Maybe she might like it here after all.

**0.0**


	2. evil twins and not-a-date-dinners

**Guest: **_Transylvania is not a country it's a region of Romania_

When did I say it was a country? And I don't think specific location really matters in this story, like, at all. Because _seriously_, have you read this madness?

* * *

**Two:_ evil twins and not-a-date-dinners_**

* * *

"Can you believe _he_ asked _me_?" Rebekah sighs dreamily as she stares lovingly across the lunch hall at Alexander. "He's taking me to dinner next weekend before we go to Fright Fest. Isn't he just the most romantic warlock ever? We'll be voted Fright Fest King and Queen for sure."

"Oh, did he ask you to the Halloween Fright Fest, Bekah?" Kol asks feigning shock.

"Yeah, we wouldn't have guessed with how you've only mentioned it five billion times." Kol sniggers at Caroline's joke.

"You've got to change your perception of time, Caroline." Klaus interjects as he stacks his Jaffa Cakes to look like a castle. Caroline pokes one of the biscuits and the whole castle tumbles. Klaus gives her a look like 'if you were anybody else' and starts over.

"Yeah, now that you'll have none with all the time you'll be spending with my brother!"

Rebekah groans. "Nik, stop playing with your food and wipe that grin off of your face. Carebear, don't throw all your chips you'll waste them. And Kol, stop thrusting at Caroline you're being insensitive." Everyone complies to Rebekah's orders and the blonde zombie grins. "Now, let's get back to talking about me."

**0.0**

Caroline opens her front door and furrows her eyebrows at the sight in front of her. "Why are you wearing a suit?" Klaus hands her a bouquet of white roses with a big grin on his face. She accepts them with a shake of her head. "Never mind, come this way."

They walk into the kitchen where Bill is rushing around yelling about his (third attempt at a) soufflé burning ("Dad, just get pizza." "Pizza, Caroline? You invited a werewolf to dinner and you expect me to serve a fancy form of cheese on breed? Are you sure you're my daughter?").

"Dad, seriously. Pizza is fine." Bill chokes as he sees Klaus. The werewolf waves at him.

"Caroline, he's wearing a suit." She sees her father try not to cry as he awkwardly clutches at his ripped jeans. Caroline sighs.

"Klaus, take off your suit. Dad, please just order in. Steven...can you be anywhere else, please? No offence, I just don't feel too comforta- KLAUS, NOT _HERE_!"

**0.0**

Caroline swings her legs as her and Klaus sway on her porch swing eating pizza. Klaus' jacket is wrapped around her shoulders and his tie discarded, hanging from the neighbour's greenhouse roof (long story, there was some mailman chasing). She decides to break the comfortable silence, shaking her head at his content expression.

"Why are you so happy all the time?"

"It's easy to be happy when you're around." Point Mikaelson.

Caroline chuckles and he licks grease off of his pointer finger with a little smile in her direction.

"What about you? Why are you constantly so distraught?" She throws a chip at him and he ducks it with a grin.

"I am not _distraught_."

"Grim, then."

Caroline shoots him a look before sighing. "I'm just- I'm just frustrated, like, _all_ the time and I have these constant kill people urges. Like Elena, for example."

"Imagining Elena Gilbert murder scenarios is quite common, actually."

She feigns shock. "No?"

He grins. "Enough people to get 24,738***** signatures on a petition."**  
**

Caroline laughs. "It's good to know I'm not alone."

"You'll never be alone if you don't desire to be." His sincerity scares her.

Caroline clears her throat and Klaus looks down before looking back up to her.

"My brother was the one who forced me into a tux."

Caroline smiles lightly. "How many Mikaelsons are there?"

"Five billion." He teases and she mock glares at him.

"Ha ha. Seriously, what's it like to have so many siblings?"

Klaus looks down and licks his lips. Caroline frowns. "I'm not really their sibling," he whispers.

She lays a hand on his shoulder. "Do they treat you like you're not?"

"Father used to before-" he clenches his fist and looks like he might cry. "Before the night we fought more intensely then any other...and he...he...and I-" Klaus lays his forehead in his hands. "I just couldn't control myself."

Caroline bits her lip and then wraps her arms around his neck. His wrap around her waist instantly and his nose nuzzles into his neck.

Caroline clicks her tongue. "You're lying, aren't you?" He smirks into her neck. She pulls away and throws the empty pizza box at him. He jumps out of the way, laughing.

"I like your perfume."

"Go to hell!"

He shoots his dimples at her. "He died from a heart attack caused by all the alcohol he drunk."

Caroline huffs.

Klaus grins at her and puts his hands in his pockets. "This has been a lovely date, Caroline."

The blonde scoffs. "It was so _not_ a date! I only took pity on you because your only friends - a.k.a. your brother and sister - are out visiting your aunt Aynana."

"Ayanna." He smirks.

"Whatever! I don't have the time to keep track of all you Mikaelsons." She throws her hands upward and stomps toward the door.

"Caroline."

She stops and turns to ask him 'what now?' when something soft gentlely tickles her cheek and she realises he had just kissed her. She begins to open her mouth to yell at him but he's already disappeared. Supernatural speed sucks (but his sweet kiss admittedly didn't).

**0.0**

"I thought you said Alexander was your soulmate." Caroline raises an eyebrow as she tries to juggle all her books, her chocolate milkshake and the endless lose sheets of paper she's carrying while walking.

"I thought so, it just-"

_"What's dead but not dead?" Rebekah blinks. "A ZOMBIE!" Alexander bursts into uncontrollable laughter. Rebekah pushes him into the swamp._

"- didn't work."

Caroline eyes her suspiciously but decides to let it go. Do you know what else she'd like to let go? This massive pile of books. On a certain fanged brunette's head.

"Do you know where Elena is?" Rebekah sends her a stern look. "Just curious. No violent fantasies in mind."

"Fantasies, you say." Kol pops up.

"I think she's with Katherine." Rebekah ignores Kol.

"Who the hell is Katherine?"

**0.0**

So Elena has a twin. An _evil_ twin. She's actually worse than her sister! Caroline is genuinely surprised. She does notice that Elena seems to be trying to impress her sister- not that she's eavesdropping or anything! Because she isn't...

Not until she gets caught, anyway. By a werewolf with a freaking _cold_.

"Ew!" Caroline squeaks as she attempts to wipe the werewolf (cooties) spit off of herself.

"Well, well." The vampires spot their prey. "What do we have here?"

"This is Caroline Forbes." Elena informs her sister quickly. "Newbie resident human."

"Oh, well not human for long now." Katherine sniggers, giving her sister a look.

"What do you mean?" Caroline asks.

Elena smirks, glancing at her sister. "Didn't you know?" She drawls. "Werewolf spit is what turns one into a werewolf."

Caroline shakes her head. "No, you're lying. A bite from a werewolf turns you or drinking out of a werewolf's footprint or-"

"Or a scratch. Yes, I know the _legends_." Katherine eyes Caroline from head to toe condescendingly. "Are you really fool enough to believe something you read on the interweb over the truth right from a real life supernatural creature's mouth?"

"It's who's mouth that's the problem." Caroline smirks. "Seriously, like I'd believe someone who says _interweb_."

Elena flashes her fangs at the human. Caroline gulps but keeps a straight face. "Watch your tongue," the vampire hisses. The end of lunch bell sounds and Caroline has never been happier to hear the annoyingly loud ringing.

"Better run off to your wolf, Little Red." Elena smirks. "I'm sure he'd be delighted with some riding." The vampire twins giggle as they disappear.

Caroline throws her head back and groans loudly. Why did she have to be such a klutz?

**0.0**

**a/n - **not as long, I know, but this is actually really hard to write!

*** - **see what I did there?


	3. wherewolf, therewolf

**a/n -** SURPRISE! Except not really. I asked reviewers to tell me what story they wanted updated and this was the very first one I got so I said I'd do it (and I had a feeling she'd murder me if I didn't ;)).

* * *

**Three: _wherewolf, therewolf_**

* * *

"What even is that stuff?" Matt flicks the flask.

"Slug juice."

"Slug juice?"

"Mother says it's nutritious."

"Mommy's boy." Rebekah nudges her brother.

Caroline stops at the table and slowly sinks down onto her usual seat.

"There you are, Care!" Matt slaps her back. "I've been looking for you."

"Well, look no further." She waves her hand. "I'm here. Always here. Forever."

Matt, Kol and Rebekah stare at her in confusion. She sighs, looking off into the distance.

"Caroline—" Kol looks to Rebekah, hoping she'll use her magic girl powers. Rebekah rolls her eyes knowing exactly what he's thinking.

"What's wrong?" Rebekah grabs Caroline's hand.

Caroline gently pulls her hand away. "Where's Klaus?"

Kol's jaw drops. Rebekah's eyebrows bounce up. Matt drops his croissant.

"Klaus as in Nik?" Kol stutters.

"Nik as in our brother Nik?" Caroline rolls her eyes at Rebekah's high-pitched voice.

"Yes, him. Where is he?"

"Wait, wait!" Kol holds out his hand. "So you're saying that you, Caroline Forbes, willingly want to be in my brother's, Niklaus Mikaelson's, presence?"

Caroline narrows her eyes in confusion. "Yes. That's what I said."

The three share a look. "Do you have a fever?"

Caroline releases an irritated breath. "Do you know where he is or not?"

"I think he's in the gym." Matt rubs the back of his head, still in a perplexed state of mind.

**0.0**

"What are you doing?"

Klaus fumbles, glancing behind him in shock.

"Caroline?" She raises her eyebrows at him and glances at the blue mat. He smiles and answers her question. "Some people call it yoga."

"Yeah, single moms and eco-enthusiasts." She snorts and drops her bag on the floor. He smiles and looks down, laughing at her. Caroline shrugs off her jacket and slips off her shoes.

"Show me some moves then." His head bounces up in surprise. "Go on."

Caroline walks over to him and sits on the mat in front of him, her back facing his front. He shakes his head like he doesn't know what to do with her.

Klaus guides Caroline's arms out straight from her sides. He releases his right hand to press it against her stomach. Caroline straightens her back in response.

"So, y'know that whole mating thing?" She breathes a laugh. "What exactly does that, y'know, involve?"

Klaus moves her arms up. "When two werewolves love each other very much—" She turns to scowl at him. He tries to hide his smirk.

"So, it has to be between two werewolves?"

"No, it can be between any two supernatural creatures but it's particularly special for werewolves."

"Why?" He gently pushes on her shoulders and she moves downwards.

"They take it seriously." Caroline hums in understanding.

"So if, for example, you and I were to—_mate_. What would we actually—_do_?"

He slides his nose along her neck to her ear. She shivers.

"On a full moon, I would drink your blood. You would drink mine. Then we would consummate our vow, and I would bite you." He slides his palms along her arms. Caroline bites her lip. Maybe she should have used another example.

"Why would you bite me?"

"To mark you as mine." She can _feel_ that's she's excited him now but if she's going to be a werewolf she refuses to be alone forever. She slides her hand along his thigh and he whimpers.

"So it wouldn't fade away?" Her voice cracks.

"No." Klaus whispers.

Caroline slides her hand higher and just as she's about to reach—

**0.0**

"He just ran away!" Caroline throws her arms out. "How could he just run away?"

"Because he was overwhelmed with—Caroline!" Matt shakes his head. Caroline narrows her eyes but purses her lips. "You've been rejecting the poor guy since you met him and now you're suddenly all over him. He's obviously going to be beyond confused."

Caroline pouts in silence. Matt eyes her.

"Hang on, why _are_ you suddenly all for the mating?"

"Well, it's not a crime to want someone that's vowed to love you forever, no matter what, is it?" Caroline turns and flees.

"Look who's running away now!"

**0.0**

"Hey Bekah!" Rebekah raises her eyebrows at Caroline.

"Where have you been?"

"Oh, uh, library."

"What?"

"Hey, so, I heard that Stefan slept with Katherine last weekend and now Elena is planning some sort of revenge."

"Ooo, on which one?" Caroline lets out a small sigh of relief.

"Well, she spends her whole life trying to impress Katherine so."

"Yeah, good point. It probably crushed her that Katherine did that." Rebekah says with a smile. Caroline shakes her head, a little amused.

"Yeah, probably." Caroline pauses. "You wouldn't do that to me, would you?"

"Of course not!" Rebekah laughs. "Nik's my brother!"

"Yeah." Caroline laughs. Rebekah hits her arm. "Ouch!"

"You just admitted you like him!"

"I did not! Nothing was admitted!" Caroline frantically rubs her arm.

"Oh, it was so!" Rebekah beams. "We're going to be sisters!"

Caroline opens her mouth but says nothing.

Rebekah frowns. "What's wrong?"

Caroline's lip wobbles, and she starts to cry.

**0.0**

Rebekah frantically paces as Caroline wails in the locked cubicle.

"Caroline! Tell me what's wrong!"

"Idontwabbabeawerewulf!" She continues sobbing.

Kol and Klaus burst through the door.

"Oh, you idiots! I said _don't_ come find us."

"CAROLINE! CAROLINE ARE YOU DYING?!" Kol yells while attempting to climb over the door. He falls on his bottom.

"You bloody imbecile—"

Klaus slides under the cubicle expertly and stares at Caroline as she rubs at her nose with tissues. Rebekah and Kol continue to yell at each other. Caroline shifts to be more comfortable on the toilet lid.

"You've probably got bathroom dirt on your clothes." She whispers.

"I know."

Caroline sniffs. Her hands shake and tears still fall from her eyes. Klaus stares at her.

"How do I fix it?"

"You can't."

"Is it my fault?"

"No." She says softly, rubbing her eye.

"I'm sorry."

"You didn't do anything."

He stares at his hands. "Exactly."

Caroline sighs. "I'm not mad because of that, Klaus." She smiles. "Honestly, get over yourself."

He smiles, sighs.

"What's it like being a werewolf?"

He furrows his eyebrows but answers. "You're quite angry most of the time. But the yoga helps. You can hear, see and feel in a more intense way than other people, or so I'm told. I was born one."

"What about ones that weren't born?"

"The same. Except they remember being human so it's harder for them to—cope with certain aspects. Why are you so interested?"

She shrugs. "Does it hurt? The actual werewolf-ing?"

"Sort of." Caroline bites her lip. "Are you ready yet?" To tell him what's wrong? Is she ready? She shakes her head. "Okay."

She sighs. "I'm just—scared."

He hesitantly grips her hand. She smiles and squeezes it. It really wouldn't be _completely_ horrible to be Klaus' mate. Maybe her being a werewolf is a good thing. Maybe Elena was right and—

Wait.

"Klaus—" Caroline furrows her eyebrows. Klaus waits for her to continue. "How do you become a werewolf? Besides being born one."

"It's actually quite obvious." He smiles, looking slightly embarrassed. "If you're bitten on a full moon or cursed by a witch."

"And those are the only two ways?"

Klaus nods.

Caroline bursts out laughing. She laughs so hard she falls off of the toilet. Klaus catches her. She wraps her arms around his shoulders and continues to laugh hysterically.

Kol finally breaks the lock and the door swings open. Rebekah and Kol stare at Caroline and Klaus. "See, Bekah. I told you she's dying."

**0.0**


	4. vampires be cray

**a/n – **I feel like writing this story so I'm going to try to keep with that vibe but I had to stop working because sleep is also a thing I need. So I cut it off where it makes sense and uploaded it. I will upload _something_ tomorrow. I'm not doing so great right now, mentally (after writing this I supposed I should elaborate, I have anxiety and selective mutism and am having a lot of panic attacks lately, just in case you were like oh, god, what's wrong with her?), but writing does help so I'll try convince them to let me write. Thanks for your support.

* * *

**Four: _vampires be cray_**

* * *

"Yes, I suppose young Matthew—" ("Matt." The boy himself interjects.) "—is quite charming but I do wish my darling Rebekah would lay with Kol. Inbreeding is the best way to guarantee a pure bloodline."

Caroline nods meekly, her eyes dart around the room. "Right."

She so _did not _sign up for this. In fact, how did she even get here? Oh, yeah. She has a very charming best friend with _really good _puppy eyes.

"Oh, no, no, dear." Esther waves her hand dismissively. "Don't you worry. You have marvellous genes. Proper beauty—just look at her cheekbones, little pup—and broad hips, perfect for birthing."

Caroline laughs nervously. "_Wow_." She glares at Klaus as he smirks at her.

"Mother, Caroline is not yet eighteen." Rebekah massages her temples. "Oh, yes, I know, dear. But younger than she are happy mothers made." ("Did she just quote Romeo and Juliet?") "Oh, and before I forget. Little pup," Esther plucks a little parcel out from under her chair and hands it to Klaus. She nods to him and he smiles at her. With a nod, he tugs Caroline out of the old chair, through the kitchen and into the garden.

Caroline laughs nervously. "There's not, like, a ring in there or anything, is there?"

He smiles adoringly at her and she hopes that's a no.

The garden is small but beautiful. She's gaping at the magnificent flowers that surround her as he releases her hand to face her.

"Caroline Forbes." He beams.

_Don't get down on one knee. Don't get down on one knee. Dammit, Klaus_

"Will you do me the honour..."

_Oh, god, everyone's going to think I'm pregnant. What, woah, that means I said yes. Am I saying yes?_

"Of going to the Halloween Fright Fest with me?" The box pops open to reveal a white flower corsage.

"...I hate you."

His face falls.

**0.0**

"Matthew, dear, what jobs do your parents have? Perhaps I know of them."

"Well, my dad's mainly dead and my mom's an expert at running. Mostly, away."

Judging by Esther's face, the humour did not lighten the mood.

**0.0**

Damon slaps his hand down on the table in front of the hovering glass jar. Kol scowls, growls.

"Hey, that was dinner."

Damon raises his eyebrows. "That was a bug."

"A werebeetle! Their juices—"

"Listen, weirdo, I don't give a crap about anyone's juices but my own." He smirks. "Which is why I'm here, actually."

Kol glares and hugs his empty jar to his chest. "What do you want?"

"Well, when she's not talking, Caroline's really hot. So—"

"No."

Damon freezes, blinks. "What?"

"I said no."

They engage in a glaring contest. "Listen, you mutated little freak, I could make your life _hell_—"

And that is when Kol slams the glass jar into his face. Damon yelps. Kol throws his body weight at Damon. They both fall to the ground. Kol immediately takes advantage of his surprise and punches his face. Once. Twice. Th—

Damon exposes his vampire teeth and rips Kol's arms off of his body. Kol wobbles but only falls after a punch lands on his cheek. Damon pins Kol to the ground.

"You can't hurt me, vampire. And I'm already dead." He hisses.

"Don't worry. I know." Damon smirks diabolically then flashes out of sight.

Kol lets his head fall back and hit the ground. He sighs.

_This is not good._

**0.0**

"Oh, no, I don't mean _I hate you _I hate you."

"Love, if, you could stop repeating it—"

"No, no, no!" She waves her hands frantically.

"Um, that really does not help either."

"Oh, no, I'm not saying no! Oh, well, I am _saying_ no but—" Caroline groans. "Crap."

She blames movies for what happens next.

Slapping her palms over both his cheeks, she pulls his face to meet hers. Their lips collide awkwardly. But despite that, when she pulls away Klaus looks like the happiest man in the world.

"Um, so that was kind of a lame first kiss but—"

"It's alright, love, we're not all expected to be brilliant at it the first time." He strokes her cheek affectionately.

"Oh, it's not _my_ first—uh, yeah, sure, thanks."

"You will adore the dress I had made for you." He tells her, his eyes twinkling. It's because of his eyes that she holds back the extreme feminist part of her.

She smiles instead and he grabs her hand.

"And don't worry. That didn't count. Our first kiss will convince you to let me be your last."

"My last?"

"Kiss." He grins and adds, "Love."

He leads her back into the living room. She wonders what just happened (and why she's so happy about it).

**0.0**

"DANGER! DANGER! DANGER!" Kol yells as he enters the house. "DAN—" He pauses at the sight of Caroline sitting on Klaus' lap while he plays with her hair (she was reaping _all_ the benefits). Then continues. "—GER!"

"What is wrong with you now?" Rebekah complains. "Is it another postman incident?"

Kol scowls at the thought. "No, but you _know_ he's out to get me since the time Nik chased him up that tree! I am however presently more concerned about the fact that _I HAVE NO ARMS_!"

Rebekah glances up from her phone and snickers. "Oh, yeah."

"How'd you open the door?" Caroline furrows her eyebrows.

"Really, Caroline? _That's_ your question?" Kol demands but obliges. "My mouth."

"Ew." Caroline wrinkles her nose in disgust. "Though I suppose most of the things that go in there aren't that much better."

It takes everything in Kol not to point out the double meaning. Instead he settles for screaming, "I HAVE NO ARMS!"

Klaus sighs. "What happened?"

"Damon Salvatore ripped them off of me!" He leans his head back as he whines.

"And you just left them on the ground?" Rebekah asks disapprovingly.

"I'm sorry, did you want me to _pick them up_?" Kol glares at her as he shakes his armless torso.

Rebekah purses her lips and keeps quiet (mainly to keep herself from laughing).

"Mother just took her nap." Klaus says. "So she won't be able to sow anything back until tomorrow."

"We'd have to steal two more before then, anyway." Rebekah interjects. "Someone's bound to have picked up your other two. A good arm's worth a large house these days, in the right circles."

"What circles are those?" Caroline exclaims. Rebekah smirks at her. "What do you mean steal anyway? Where can you steal body parts from? Oh my god, you're all murderers!"

Rebekah rolls her eyes. "Graves, you idiot. Fresh ones if we're lucky."

"Ew."

Klaus leans his chin on her shoulder. "Why did he attack you?"

"Thank you! _Finally_, I can tell my story." Kol then sighs dramatically. "It was a cold October evening. The wind was so strong that shivers ran down your spine. There I was, minding my own business, just a simple boy looking for a simple werebeetle. When, suddenly, a dark shadow cast over the street, children in the nearby playground ceased their laughter and the squeaking of swings echoed through the empty streets."

"Oh, you drama queen." Rebekah snorts. "Just tell us what you said."

"Excuse me, what _I_ said?"

"We all know it's your fault." Everyone nods in agreement.

"_Well_." Kol pouts but sniffs the air excitedly when Matt enters with tea and biscuits.

"There were only Jaffa Cakes left." He says as he places them on the round table in the centre of the room. "Woah, what happened to your arms?"

"It was a cold—"

"_Damon_." Caroline quickly interrupts. "Damon happened."

Matt shakes his head. "They really need to be taught a lesson. They think they can go around hurting anyone they want."

"It was Kol's fault." Rebekah slurps her tea.

"Was not! I'll have you know he just randomly attacked me."

"Really?" She asks, her eyebrows raised.

He glances at Caroline and Klaus, looking happy on the chair. "Yup. Vampires be cray."

"Truth!" Matt raises his mug in agreement.

"Okay, it's settled. We'll have to get revenge." All heads nod.

"And steal me arms."

Rebekah giggles. "Yeah, that too."

"TO THE GRAVEYARD!" Kol tries to point but has nothing to point with. He settles for jabbing his nose in the direction of the door.

"Well, we're gonna finish our tea first." Caroline gestures to the cup in her hands.

"Right. And then to the graveyard?"

She shrugs. "Sure."

"IN THE NEAR FUTURE—TO THE GRAVEYARD!" He nose-jabs again.

"That's kind of quite pathetic, actually."

"Shut up, Donovan. No superhero is perfect."

"Captain Kol?"

"Actually I was thinking, ZEALOUS ZOMBIE!"

They all burst out laughing.

"What?...I'm zealous."

"Yes, Kol. Yes you are."

**0.0**


End file.
